Latest Project –
Leap of Faith
This artwork of three jumping horses has a very deep spiritual significance to me and my life journey thus far
First of all is the essence of the horse
This animal has been a part of human evolution for a very long time which has surely carried and supported mankind through its entire evolution. The horse has been the one animal integrated into transport, agriculture, travel, wars, exploration, fun and friendship. Humans would not have been where they are today without the connection to the horse.
I call this artwork Leap of Faith and while I was working on it I was transported back in time to my own journey as an artist where there have been many crossroads and situations which have been very significant in my development of my soul and the expansion of my work.
I have to highlight the important ones.
I was born into a vey artistic household where both my parents made a living through painting and I was fascinated with drawing and creating objects from a very early age. I drew hundreds of pictures and I still have two small clayworks of horses in my keep which I created as a child
However there was one childhood conditioning which became a very deep part of my subconscious mind which was that artists never prosper and will always struggle through life.
So after school my grades were good enough to get a bursary for my choice of studying mechanical engineering at university so that I could have an educated and successful career. I never knew what an engineer really does as a job and I was never really interested or passionate about that field. I spent more time drawing pictures in class and enjoying a carefree student life. This was a recipe for disaster and after three years I experienced the shame of failing at my studies and dropping out of university.
In that time we still had a compulsory army stint to do for two years and I wanted to succeed at something so I completed the intense officers course and enjoyed some privileges and getting payed more than the average soldier. Many years later I received deep trauma treatments because we were at war with communist invasions at our borders and other terrorist activities where I encountered the deeply frightening aspects of war. But it was also during that time where I needed to think about my future and I again drew many portraits of people which I started selling to friends and troops to find a way to make more money.
So in leaving the army and with a skill in drawing as a small positive incentive I decided to make my first big Leap of Faith and try to become an artist in drawing, painting and sculpture. My father was a well known wildlife artist and I worked for some months toward a joint exhibition where I said to myself that if I sell something there then it’s a sign of going in the right direction. I had some wildlife paintings and sculptures on the floor and everything was sold. I was very excited that this was my way forward. I also experienced very embarrassing situations where my red green brown colour blindness caused me to paint some very green antelope. This naturally forced me more to drawing and sculpture. Much safer from critics.
I made some very basic calculations regarding the cost of producing a bronze sculpture which made me think it would be more cost effective to be in control of my own bronze production. This led to another Leap of Faith where I moved back to my parents property, borrowed money from a bank and built a large studio, foundry and flat to live in. I was involved in some foundries before and I thought I knew everything about bronze casting but life was pinning me down in becoming more of a foundryman, trying to get good quality castings produced.
I continued on this path for 9 years. Exhibiting and working with the family and other art galleries. I then believed it was my future to be a wildlife artist like my dad focusing on sculpture. I also thought I would see out my life living and working in that small town.
But it felt I wasn’t making headway with money or relationships, and I definitely wasn’t happy until one night alone in my flat I fell to my knees in agony about a failed life. I have always had some spiritual thoughts but this time I screamed to the heavens for help. I wailed for hours and had a complete meltdown. I fell into a deep sleep and when I awoke…I was different. Something had happened. I did not know myself or my thoughts. I was 33 and had a deep sense that there is something more to life than just this, but I did not know what it was. I was guided towards a nearby healing centre and that is where I received many alternative knowledge and insights about life. I also met the mother of my children who was working there as a therapist. This changed my life completely. We decided to have a future together and I realized that the place I built would never be mine as it was on my parents’ property.
I then took the biggest Leap of Faith in my life by deciding to leave all I built behind and go into an unknown world with my wife. My son was born in that year and we moved away from that small town, trying to figure out where we belong and how to make money. This was a very challenging time as my modus operandi was to create and produce bronze artworks to galleries to sell as once off exhibits did not work very well. The galleries also starting charging much bigger commissions and after casting costs the profits was very low. We moved around a lot. I left and sold my foundry business to an enthusiastic friend of mine in that small town which left me without a production facility of my own. I still used them to cast artworks but that also became very difficult as they were far away and I couldn’t cast artworks at cost anymore. The twins were born 3 years later and this added pressure to a young family not solidly structured. Although I never stopped fighting and trying stuff, the circumstance of our money situation caused me to become an image of failure in my own eyes. No selfworth or pride or confidence in my ability to help support my young family caused endless fights which was linked to my deepest fear. Failure as an artist. This led to my biggest pain in life. Separation and divorce. I was broken with no business plan or way forward. For a latter part of our time together I was pushed and guided by people towards horses as a means of expression. I spent time going in that direction but not with confidence as I was conditioned as a wildlife artist.
I have to add that that was an immencely valuable time because I learned so much about how our young lives are programmed and conditioned by our surroundings. I also learnt how strongly the subconcious mind is programmed into a belief which will lead to a certain fate. This means that our subconscious is truly creating our lives and fate, no matter what we consciously try to achieve. All our beliefs, actions , attractions, relationships and life experiences is governed by a subconscious mind. It was also during that time which I wanted to connect more deeply with God or a Higher intelligence which I absolutely believe is real. But why is my life such a failure if such a good and powerful and gracious God exists. That is when my biggest realizations and belief about God was formed. God is not going to save me. In a way God is showing me all the issues and beliefs which has made my life what it is thus far. My biggest is that artists will struggle with money and relationships, doomed to have a difficult and unhappy life. Now I was at a crossroads again.
I needed to create a new life and still help and support my young children. There was nothing left in my old way of operating. So I seriously looked at my previous guidance of focusing on the horse as a means of expression and creativity. So I took my next Leap of Faith, moved onto a nearby property and put up a vision board detailing what I want to create. Artworks for the equestrian world. I have been on horses a number of times before with friends etc but I did not come from a horse background. So I actually knew nothing of horses. Time to learn.
This was the beginning of my new life. I absolutely had to succeed or fade into the abyss of depression and failure. We rotated the kids on a weekly basis as a working model where father and mother is actively involved in their lives which was an absolute blessing as no parent should be forced not to be part of their lives. This gave me one week to take care of kids with work and one week where I could solely focus on my new career.
For the next 3 years I studied and created horses during the week and I would take my work to nearby horseshows, connecting with people in the industry. This was very difficult as I needed to create something from the ground up but it slowly became a life and new way of operating. No more galleries as agents. Dealing directly with people on the ground was very inciteful. I started receiving new smaller commissions from people who liked my work and my first major commission was unveiled at the Golden Horse Casino. Life was slowly becoming better. This was a time where I experienced situations which can only be described as miracles in my life. I absolutely believe now that God works through people as I received everything which I needed in every day. The kids had safe place to stay, food on the table and clothes and schooling. We also had some weekend breaks to nature and holidays by the coast. Life was getting better. It was also later in that time that I was helped to look towards a bigger EQ world. Arabian horses in Dubai.
I then took my first and very fearfull Leap of Faith and participated in my first horseshow in Dubai. It was my first experience of travelling abroad with my artworks and a whole new world opened up for me. On my return I was actually very despondent as not much happened at the show but I never realized what can happen if you take a jump amidst your fears and doubts. I started receiving interest in my work from well respected horse clubs which for many years supported my artworks in the form of exclusive awards, statues and monuments. There was one specific horseshow which I felt strongly I should be at and I made that jump again into the unknown. Again nothing really happened on the show but you never know who God wants you to meet. I subsequently received my first contract to create the very prestigious awards in bronze for the Dubai Arabian Horse show. This also opened the door to exhibit at this show and some months later I received my biggest commission yet. Seven lifesize bronze arabian horses at a central point in Dubai. This kept me very busy for 2 years.
It has now been many years since the I embarked into a new life and I have experienced many high and lows. I also went through a second deep relationship which I understand the value of that in my life. The kids are young adults now and if they were not there I believe I would long ago have given up on trying to create a more successful life. Everybody is healthy and happy.
I have since received many small and large commissions and contracts from local and international people. My last Dubai contract kept us all going through very difficult Covit times. I have experienced a much greater and better side of life. I now live in a beautiful space and have been blessed with a good life so far. Everyday is actually a Leap of Faith as I don’t know what tomorrow holds but as I look back on my journey I have a much greater Trust in God that everything is always going to be ok because although Im still working towards sustaining my life, it is the unexpected support and work which I receive…always out of the blue. That is when I truly see miracles happen. My production factory support a number of families and I am constantly blessed with new opportunies.
So this is what I believe
There is Spiritual guidance and support from a greater mind than ourselves. I do not adhere to any specific religion as I have seen a greater Godness working through the goodness of people of all races. That it is our fears and doubts which can limit our experience of life. That we not only have to work physically but very importantly have to work very hard to change our subconscious mind through visualizations, meditation en new visions. That God is there to show us all our borrowed fears and the only way to get rid of them is to walk into them. That we can change our lives for the better through new visions and actions. I realize now that it is through leaps of faith that I had to confront my deepest fears and the world is not such a scary place but rather a beautiful place where I now have experienced many deeply soulfully joyfull moments. I believe this has changed my life of worry and fear into a much more trusting life. Trusting in my abilities and trusting in an unseen Spiritual force which have always walked with me but I didn’t always see it. I am still guided by a small voice in my head, by the new inspirations (spirit coming in) of artworks like this one and by the help, guidance and support of God working through people.
I think for people who do not believe in an active Spiritual world and believe that life is just a of series random events and coincidences, they then miss the true purpose of life. That heaven and hell exist on earth and that a life of hell and despair and depression can be turned into a life of love, passion and joy. It is all here. And if you feel stuck in unhappy places, work environment or relationships, then you have the right and power to change it. But first you have to believe it, then dream it and then take all the leaps of faith needed to create it.
God will meet you along the way.
We can turn worry and fears in trust and miracles by taking the Leaps of Faith set out on our crossroads. Every fear transmuted into trust creates deeper feelings of freedom and joy in your soul. That is where heaven lies. In the core of your soul. Experienced on earth.
I have no regrets. The past are lessons. The future is unfolding. Life is now. Live and Love it.
I have been inspired to created this artwork as a symbol of all the Leaps of Faith taken by people to create a better world. As a large monument it stands as an everlasting reminder of Faith and Trust in our own abilities and a greater Spriitual energy which can works through us to create a better and more loving world.
The Horse has been the one animal that has been so pivotal and instrumental in the development and evolution of the human spirit that it is hard to imagine existence without it.
The horse has thus bowed its heart and spirit in service to mankind in most areas of life.
But mostly for me is the combination of service and retaining its nobility and freedom that inspired me most.
Through all that it has endured by the ignorant hand of man, it still comes back to serve and give of its heart and power.
Horses are constantly teaching us more about ourselves and guides us in finding new ways of interacting, living and experiencing life with these magnificent beings.
They also radiate qualities of power, grace, nobility and freedom that on some level always attracts the wanting human. Therefore I stand in awe before a horse and as it lifts me up I work at becoming more of a man. But a horse does not need to work at it. It just is.
The sculptures and designs are created in various mediums toward different purposes.
The artworks are acquired by as valued collectors editions in a limited bronze series.
Interior and exterior designs are created in metallic compounds and resins.
Creative trophies and awards in all eq disciplines, events and horse breeds.
Monumental statues in sculpture which install dynamic visual statements for any house, development, stud or arena.
Exclusive designs with logos and wording are also created for any organization contributing to their personal gift lines and marketing products.